the beginning of an end

Dear Dayre,

I don't really know where to begin, but I know I want to put something down into words about this.

Over the past few months, a lot of people I know and probably many more that I don't know have been asking and speculating about what has been happening with my personal life.

I don't care about the gossip mongers, but I do care about the friends and readers who sincerely wish me well and are genuinely concerned for me as a person.

I'd rather you all hear it straight from me than other uninvolved parties, so let this serve as closure.

We've officially separated.

The decision has been extremely hard to make, because it doesn't just impact two lives majorly, but also the many people around me like family and mutual friends…

I wish I could speak unrestrainedly about why our relationship broke down, but it probably isn't a good idea to do so.

All I can say is, I think we both tried to make our relationship work over the years, but there were too many fundamental issues that were swept under the rug over the years, and these seemingly little things eventually festered and grew into huge, painful sores that could never go away.

No matter what, please remember that you should always love yourself first, no matter what kind of a relationship you're in.

No one is perfect, that's for sure. But make sure you know what your deal breakers are, and what kind of shortcomings you want to deal with.

I saw a quote on IG the other day.

The quote was "You don't give up on someone you love."

I really wanted to agree with this quote. It sounded damn bloody romantic and oh-so-sweet.

But is it really really true?

I don't know la. For someone who's been in one relationship for 9 years, I'd say that there's a breaking point somewhere when it becomes irrevocably damaged.

I'm sorry that it didn't work out.

I'm especially sorry to my parents, to my dad who doesn't know how to break the news to relatives and acquaintances who are asking him "几时抱个孙子?"

To my in-laws who treated me so very well and were a second family to me.

And to the man I took my marriage vows with and whom I thought would be my forever.

I'm sorry that we didn't work out.

It's been almost three months since this happened, and now you know why I've been posting much lesser on social media the past few months.

I also took the opportunity to travel and do more of what I love, and spend more time with my dearest friends who have been such a constant source of support and love.

I'm blessed, really.

And now, I'll put myself first, love myself more.

I'm telling myself this: It's okay to fail in relationships and even a marriage.

A failed relationship does not mean that you're a failure. Everyone deserves to be truly happy and to be loved in the right way.

PS. I won't be affected by hate comments and trolls because you anonymous keyboard warriors totally don't know anything at all and your absurd accusations are just laughable, so go ahead, say whatever you want 🙂

Thank you for reading, and for your virtual hugs and kisses. ❤️ I'm okay!

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