Dear Dayre,
It's past midnight on a Friday night and I'm just lying in bed doing nothing and surfing on my phone!
I'm sorry I haven't been writing so much lately. Sometimes it's a bit hard to share things here cos it's quite a public platform now as opposed to when I first began with a lot fewer readers! I mean, sharing positive stuff is all good, but I'm hesitant to share anything that might come across as negative or put people around me in a bad light.
It could potentially be hurtful to people around me or affect them negatively, which I feel is not the right thing to do, even though sometimes I wish I could pour out all my feelings when I'm having a bad moment or not-so-good day.
I'm glad enough to have readers share my joyous moments and celebrate my happiness with me but just keep in mind that things aren't always perfect for me all the time, like every single human being struggling through life some times.
As seeing how today is the "last" day of the Lunar New Year, why not a introspective post on my thoughts and musings to enter into the new year – It's still February so better late than never? 😅
Work
I know that most people think it admirable and impressive to be a #girlboss, not having to go to a 9 to 5 job and running my own e-commerce business.. It sounds exciting and fun, but the reality is that along with that shiny paint coat of glamour on the outside is a whole fraying mess of stress, chaos and worry at times.
It has been a very blessed year for #TheVelvetDolls and we are so fortunate to have the great support of loyal customers that has kept us going even through difficult times.
I'm also really exceedingly grateful for team TVD – the few people who run the show behind the scenes, doing all the tough labour that no one sees, like keeping our inventory organised, packing parcels non-stop and overtime during peak season, slogging in our super hot air-con-faulty warehouse, dealing with difficult or unhappy customers and basically ensuring that TVD ops go smoothly, thank you @pohyeepenelopez (though you've moved on to greener pastures!), @hashyyusof and Sofie! 🌟🌟🌟
It's only because I can trust you girls so much that I can be flying all over the place too 🌚 Thank you for keeping my heart at ease even when I need to travel for work or be away so often! Really grateful about that!
I am not a very good boss, TBH. It takes very capable people to work with me because I expect my team to be competent, reliable and dependable, and also cater to my erratic schedule and working style 😂
One of my major flaws is that I am utterly and completely disorganised and unstructured. To the extent that my staff found a cheque dating from four years ago from SP services sitting pretty in an envelope stashed in a corner of the office and until today I haven't called up SP services to check if they can re-issue that cheque to me #FML *makes mental note to self to re-issue that bloody cheque*
Sometimes I only tell my staff three days before I fly off. "Oh and by the way i'm going to Taiwan next Tuesday, girls!"
😅😅
But I really trust the team so much to keep things going even when I'm not around. I promise we will make this year a better year! We are improving on our work flow and organisation so much more and there's already been a huge improvement in our ops and structure! So proud of what we achieved in 2016 and there is more to come! I have a lot of faith in TVD and the team 💪🏻
Also real blessed to have @cherriwong – You're a Godsend my dear beloved Cherri ❤ I'm grateful that I don't just have your pretty face to bring out the best of TVD, but also the gift of your sunny personality and a real friendship and rapport. 😘 Thank you for being you, always 🤗
Running your own business can make you feel very much alone at times, but because I have the support group of my fellow #girlbosses, things are so so so much better with you all around ❤❤❤ @yingdan @xiesimin @minpoh @reeniepoh
You girls are always there to watch my back and save the day unfailingly. Or even if problems can't be solved, I know I always have a few listening ears there for me!
I might sound like a broken tape-recorder but how rare is it that our friendships has marched on strong through fire and tribulations , despite being fellow competitors in the same industry? Having comrades-in-arms who know exactly what you're going through and how you feel makes even the bad days a little better.
Here's to more Monday/Friday work lunch seshs throughout 2017! 👯👯👯
Relationships
This year marks two years of marriage together. It hasn't been all sunshine and roses, we've had a tough 2016 with some stormy seas and rough waters.
I will try to be a better partner and listen to you first, instead of always trying to explain to you my own perspective, I'll do my best to let you know that I understand you before anything else. 😬
Most people say that the formation years is the only time that you can find true friendships that stay with you for the rest of your life, but I'm lucky to be a late bloomer, I think? 🤗
All these people are so important to me ❤
May all my loved ones – Family members and friends all stay healthy and safe in the year of 2017 🙏
On a personal note
I'm thankful that I made it through another year – With mostly good memories and positive experiences.
It's hard to put it out, but I've always struggled with a negative self-image. Being in a very superficial industry where good looks matter makes things tougher for me too when I feel like I'm not good enough and I keep comparing myself to people around me.
I look confident and behave like it most of the time, but sometimes I feel really shitty about myself and it's led to unhealthy eating habits that I'm still trying to let go of.
"I am good enough for myself the way I am."
Am Live on IG Stories now gigging at Unplugged with two more sets to go if anyone is looking for some live entertainment yay!