生死 - Yina Goes

Dear Dayre,

This week has been a rather somber week for me, because of a death that happened so near and all too soon. 😔

The one thing that's struck me hard is that life is exceedingly vulnerable and fleeting, and you'll never know when you'll see someone for the last time, laugh together for the last time, hug for the last time, joke for the last time, create memories for the last time.

Anyone can be taken away so easily, that's how fragile a human life is.

This is a timely reminder to cherish your loved ones around you. Your family, your parents, your siblings, your partner, your friends and everyone around you.

After Leonard's passing, I then realised how little time I actually spent bonding with him, the closest person to my little sister. We only went out for meals, just the four of us, maybe twice? Thrice?? In the span of the six years they were together.

Yes we had family dinners, and we ate at home together. He was always around at home, I treated him like family, so much that I took his presence for granted.

I thought he would always be around, all the time. Now, I'll never have the chance to spend time with this affable, cheerful, young man, the love of my sister.

Who would have known that he would be taken away from our midst so suddenly and so soon. They were still discussing on how best to apply for a BTO, and how to go about doing it.

My parents called him "Landed", a bit of a joke because they didn't know how to pronounce his name properly 😂 And it became a family joke, we would call him "Landed" as well.

I truly took for granted that he would always be around to make my little sister happy, until that fine morning when I woke up to a text message that was so incredibly unreal I had to re-read it again and again.

Of course, no one has it worse than my little sister, and it pains my entire family to see my sister grieving.

Leonard is no longer around now, and all of us are coming to terms with the fact that a human life has passed on, way before its prime.

But that is life, death is part of living, it is not separate. Coping with the death of a loved one means that life goes on for the living.

For the bereaved, it's important to remember that our loved ones would want us to carry on living life to the fullest, creating new memories, staying positive and optimistic instead of dwelling in sorrow and grief.

The strongest yet most heartbreaking words that made the demise of a person so close a little easier to bear came from Leonard's mummy.

"Aunty, I'm so sorry for your loss."

She proffered a smile and told us,

Don't be sorry for my loss. Be happy for me because we gained 27 years of happiness with Leonard.

It very nearly broke my heart but at the same time, I was glad that Aunty could look at this so positively. Yes, Leonard lived a great 27 years and no one can ever take those 27 years of happy memories away from those who knew him.

That's just how life works.

Leonard himself wouldn't have wanted anyone grieving over his death. He would have wanted all his loved ones to remember him fondly and move on, enjoying the years ahead that he didn't get to enjoy himself.

Just remember, every time you meet a loved one, it might well be the last time. Don't take those moments for granted, appreciate and cherish all the times you have with them. Take more photos, or even videos.. It's so easy with a smart phone.

Give them more hugs, look them in the eye more, laugh with them during the good times, cry with them during the bad times. Let them know how much you love them 😊

And that accounts for our spamming of silly selfies, @jazreeltan and I 😌

We talked about life and we talked about death.

What makes a life meaningful?

Is it being successful and rich, owning a big house and expensive car? I am neither ambitious nor money-driven.

Yes, a big house and an expensive car would be nice to have. But I don't think I would be happy plainly chasing after material comforts.

…for they will take nothing with them when they die, their splendor will not descend with them.

It seems to me then that finding joy in every day should be the most important thing to live for, of course without being immoral or sinful, and without ill-intention or malicious doing to any living being.

What makes me happy:

Heart-to-heart talks with my closest friends
Enjoying a delicious meal with hubby
Giving my callous old dad a hug when I send him off at the airport
Family meals
Play time with my dogs
The joy of seeing my baby, my business do well – not solely in terms of making money, but just bringing satisfaction and happiness to customers
Travelling, experiencing and living in a different country, it makes me feel alive
Singing, expressing emotions through music

Of course, I would like the financial freedom to do all the above and more 👆🏻👆🏻👆🏻 And so I have to work and I need to have money, because money would be the means to an end and not my ultimate end goal in sight.

Such as being able to afford a yummy brunch at Populus, I like their pulled pork grain bowl! They are a little pricey, but good quality food!

We had a good afternoon catching up and HTH-ing and enjoying the good meal. 😊

Candid snap 📸 by @jazreeltan which she entitled, "Lunch with a cute cartoon character"

Our cold chocolate on the rocks 😬

$19 aka expensive waffle with soft serve but it was also very yummy. Second time having it and I still liked it much! White chocolate soft serve goes well with lemon jelly and crispy waffle 👌🏻

Much love for my LJ buddy 😘 @jazreeltan