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In fact, I've been using it so often recently cos I've been super tired to cleanse and wash up every night when I get home 😭 So I just use Bioderma cleansing water to remove my makeup before I concuss in bed 😴
This competition has really take a toll on me. It's really very stressful and tiring 😩
Every day I just go back home and want to crash straight away because I'm so mentally and physically drained.
Anyway I want to tell y'all something sad lah 😭
I feel damn sian cos I messed up yesterday's round 3 recording and I was seriously kicking myself for it.
Was just soooo nervous when I stepped into the recording studio already because I've only been able to familiarize myself with this song for the past two days and the lyrics for this song are damn hardcore no joke.
Like every verse is different and chorus got two different stanzas etc etc.
I was already nervous enough because they're kicking out 4 contestants for this round. From top 12 to top 8 wtf.
And then I was also worried about my verses because the lyrics are so f–king hard to remember. I've been listening to my recording on repeat to try to internalize the lyrics but sometimes my mind just goes blank.
The song itself isn't very easy for me because the verse sits in a pretty awkward part of my range and I was already anxious about singing it well.
Replace this expression with a stressed out one HAHAA I've been listening and listening to it all day eerrday even until I fall asleep with my headphones on and it's playing in my dreams.
The fear of messing up lyrics is so real. In fact I think it's one of the most challenging aspects of every week's competition because the short prep time is really a killer.
My heart was already pounding at double time before I even started singing. 😩
Ironically…. I got through all the tricky verses although I'm sure my face looked quite stressed while trying to remember lyrics HAHAHA
And then… I make a mistake on the last chorus FMLLLLLLLLLLL 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 It's the easier part of the song some more!
Was supposed to go to the first chorus stanza but I accidentally went to the second one, and in my head I was mentally going like "shit shit shit must end back on the right line so that I can carry on to the second stanza!"
So I went back to the right line of the first stanza but I stumbled over a word and it was SOOOO obvious fffffffffff
It was on the high notes somemore confirm can tell 🙄
But well I kept my composure and carried on singing without stopping all the way to the end of the song. ☹️
Damn sian sian sian siannnnnnnnn
Can't help but to lament over the mistake I made.
Every time I step into that place I keep on telling myself that I wanna deliver a better performance than the last time. But it's so damn frustrating because it's just never good enough.
It's especially sian cuz I know a lot of y'all took the trouble to vote for me week in and week out! And I'm just disappointing with my performance. Boohoo.
I feel like I'm constantly looking at all my flaws and shortcomings and it's not just very pressurizing but also hits my self-confidence in singing. Tho I know that everyone has got their own voice and different strengths/weaknesses, somehow, I just feel like I'm on the losing end.
Supposed to submit our song by today for the next round and this time we need to pick a song and re-arrange it to our own style. 都不懂有没有过关就要stress了.
Worst of al,l I don't even have time to bother about my song selection now because I have so much overdue work I need to get done ASAP.
Stress aside.. It's not to say I haven't been enjoying the process of the competition and having fun too! It's really amazing to be able to work with experienced music producers and musicians and I'm super super grateful for that!
We also have really stupid moments like this video where we were made to play embarrassing games 😂😂😂
You get to see me rapping "那些年" and failing miserably at it in the video LOL.