Dear Dayre,

FINALLY GOT THE NEW STICKERS HAHAHAHAHA. @dayre see how much I love you? Seeing the update in my App Store makes me excited!

😍😍😍

Now if only Dayre had nicer filters.. PERFECT. But the filters I don't really like. So.. Filter with other apps myself lah.

Posted this on Insta cos I was feeling quite sian 😔

So the feature is on Instagram and girls who post their outfits on Insta. And I was told to put together a few never-featured-before outfits for the magazine shoot, which was to be done outdoors cos they wanted that "OOTD" feel!

To be honest, I am SCARED TO DEATH of being in front of a professional photographer in a "real" shoot.

That's also why you've heard me mention that I'm quite worried about my pre-wed shoot and actual day photography.. I just feel that I tend to look horribly bad on camera, and even taking outfit shots can be a stressful thing for me at times.

The thing about taking my own photos is that I have complete control, if it doesn't look good, I can take more shots til there's one that I think is passable. Or if not I can just not post any one of them if they're all bad. You know what I mean.

But a shoot for a magazine with a professional photographer is something that has got wayyyy too many variables out of my control, and I feel totally out of my comfort zone when it comes to such shoots. 😔

First of all, it was quite short notice for me to put together three never-before-featured outfits, and I had to scramble to find outfit options which I felt were lackluster and could have been better. #failno1

Initially, I was told that there would be hair and makeup provided, but somehow along the way, I was informed again that hair and makeup would have to be done by myself and I was supposed to keep it "natural and beautiful". #failno2

Then for the outdoor shoot, I decided to pick a spot that I knew was quite nice, near the Nuffies office cos there are lots of little alleys and colored walls for pretty shots!

The shoot was arranged for 2.30, so I arrived at Kinta road at 1pm to have lunch with the Nuffies before the shoot. And because I rushed out of the house, I stupidly left a bag of stuff that contained one of the outfits and my choir scores for rehearsal later on top of my shoe cabinet!!! #failno3

Sigh pie. Got sissy to send a taxi down with that bag of stuff down to Kinta Road which cost me an additional $12 or something but that's due to my own carelessness 😭

Finished lunch and was waiting at the office for 2.30, and I was getting a bit worried cos the skies were super gloomy and it looked like it was about to pour anytime.

Worse still, the writer texted me and told me "Hi babe, sorry, see you at 3pm instead! The 2.30 timing was planned when we thought we were doing a studio shoot with hair and makeup."

#failno4

But I was told much earlier that there would be no hair and makeup already! So I dunno, maybe just a convenient excuse for being late.

As luck would have it, after waiting til 3pm for the writer to arrive.. It started pouring like mad. 😭😭😭

可不可以更衰一下.

After all the effort in getting down to that location and waiting and etc.. We had to call a rain check and change our plans.

So we waited for like 20-30 minutes to call a cab (you know how horribly hard it is to get a cab in the rain) to go back to SPH office to do studio shoot instead.

#failno5

At this point of time I already sian 1/2 liao. Just not my day 😭

So in the end we had to do a studio shoot 😔 And I felt so self-conscious because I really had very minimal makeup on and I just feel awkward cos I know that studio lighting can be very tricky and unflattering if not handled properly.

The photographer was actually really nice, and he did his best to make me feel at ease in front of the camera.

I didn't even put on mascara and my face was like so shiny with the studio lights the photographer asked me if I needed a tissue to blot off a bit 😭

So damn awkward in front of the camera.

And the photographer got me to do those cute levitation shots but to be honest I think I looked too kiddy. Not the kind of image I'd have wanted to portray for my first magazine feature hahahaa 😫

I really liked this outfit a whole lot more but I'm not sure how it showed up against the white wall backdrop inside the studio.

I felt the worst after the shoot when I got a glimpse of the photos of the other featured ladies who looked really stunning in their beautifully put-together outfits and with pretty outdoor lighting and background… 😔😔😔

And I was a bit sian too cos although they told me it had to be a "brand new" outfit, I saw that one of the girls wore something that she had already previously posted on Instagram before! 😔 I could have put together much nicer outfits instead of the ones I wore….

Felt so disappointed with myself and how my shoot turned out. It's nobody's fault really, just some unfortunate circumstances and of course I just feel inadequate myself for not being able to look as good as I wish I could.

It's probably not a big deal to anyone at all, and who knows, the feature could be so tiny that no one would even see it. Haha! I guess I just can't meet my own expectations for myself. It did kind of mean a lot to me, but honestly, I bet no one would really care lah.

So I guess at the end of the day.. I just have to stop thinking about it and comparing myself to others. I obviously can't be anyone else other than myself. And if I didn't do so well this time round, then chin up and just move on lor! 不用想那么多.

Just focus on the positive aspects! I'm gonna be in a magazine! Woohoo! Hahahaha

Dear Editor… Please pick the chioest photo for the feature 🙏

Feeling much better after whining. Thank youuuuuu all for listening and for the love! 😘😘😘

Keeping my fingers crossed now hehe. Good luck to meeeee!