i frequently get readers/friends asking me how i managed to lose weight, whenever they find out that i used to be so fat. bwahaha.
it’s no fun being fat, obviously. honestly, i don’t know how i got so fat. LOL. cos i was born pre-mature, and was quite skinny until i was like.. maybe 6 or 7 years old? THEN, i really started to get chubby from 8 onwards, and by the time i graduated from primary school at 12 years old, i must have been like horrendously heavy… like maybe 50 ish kg, which is not light for a 12 year old standing at like 150++cm tall!
it carried on over into my secondary school years, and horrors of horrors, i was FINALLY inducted into the “TAF club”, short for “Trim And Fit Club” which every singaporean kid knows is a joke, cos you only have to go for “TAF” sessions IF you are overweight, OR very underweight. i was border lining on 58 to 59kg, and finally tipped the scales to hit 60kg in Sec 3 :S
admittedly, i was only “borderline” overweight, for my height of about 160cm back then, but cos my frame is relatively small (i think), i have very skinny ankles and wrists, so i really looked chubby already. can’t believe how much in denial i was, cos i thought i had a small face that wasn’t so fat, so i could pretend to be skinnier than i actually was LOL.
i remember this really embarrassing incident back when i was 13 (yes, i still remember it until now WTF cos it was so hurting to me), this guy friend of mine was being teased for “liking” me, and he retorted right back in my face and everyone else present, that i was too “fat and ugly” for him to like me. of course, i just laughed it off, but inside, i was feeling really shitty and lousy.
if you’ve never been fat, you don’t know how it feels like.
this was 2003, and i remember putting this picture up a long time ago, and everyone was so shocked to realize that the whale in pink is, yes, ME. freshly graduated from secondary school, and having taken up a part time job at Swensens (HAHAHA FREE ICE CREAM EVERYDAY + BAKED RICE FOR SUPPER) i think i was weighing at like 63 or more -___-
my head so small -_-
fast forward to my poly years, i was still fat, upsized meals at Macdonalds and cup noodle suppers were definitely not helping, despite my continual attempts to “diet”, obviously they never succeeded. at my fattest, i think was probably 64 to 65kg? i religiously avoided the weighing scale, so i’m not sure exactly.
family vacation during CNY, 2006.
god… this picture really freaked me out ): when the hard copies of the photographs were developed and i saw these, i was so mortified and embarrassed at how fat i looked, i picked out all the photos of me looking fat, and hid them ): ): ): (would have burnt them if i got the chance, any way to make sure no one else saw them)
i think i must have been about UK12 to UK14? i probably wore size 32 or 34 jeans and it was so hard to find nice clothes that fit me, i just continued to stay in denial, avoided shopping, and purposely tried to stay tan so that i could preteed to be thinner. HAHAHA :X
whaddafuck right. how did i let myself get so fat!
being fat leads to a whole lot of problems, i was conscious about how big i was, and i was secretly insecure about my looks. whenever i took pictures, i would worry whether i looked good in them. and of course, when you’re surrounded by thinner, better looking friends, you just feel really really lousy about yourself. you only dare to wear loose and big sized clothes, or try to cover up every part of your body, and your entire wardrobe is filled with black and dark colored clothes.
it’s really very depressing how being fat can affect your self esteem and self image and confidence level. hate to admit it, but let’s face it. humans ARE superficial. skinny people are attractive. fat people are ugly. and it sucks to be labelled fat, and along with it, ugly.
i don’t know what came over me, but i remember exactly when i started to try to lose weight for real, the year i turned 20 years old, in May 2007. i consulted a doctor, together with my best friend Tams, and we both were prescribed Reductil, an appetite suppressant drug, which is now no longer allowed to be sold in Singapore. The medication helped to keep my appetite in check, and i exercised five days a week, every Monday to Friday morning, as good fortune would have it, i had a gym right upstairs my work office.
every morning, i would drag myself out of bed at 7am, take the bus down to office, and head upstairs to the gym to run on the treadmill for 45 minutes, (usually covered about 4.5km) followed by some simple stretches to cool down, then i would return to office to start my day at work.
diet wise, i would have an apple or some other fruit for breakfast, then look forward to lunch time, where we would eat at the zi char stall downstairs, and i would either order a beehoon soup and take only half the beehoon, or a dish with rice, and eat only half the rice.
dinner would be fruits, and soup. strictly no carbs for dinner, and if i had to have supper after my late classes, i would have lotus root with pork rib soup. i stayed away from everything sweet or sugary, and also away from junk food (my biggest addiction).
luckily, i didn’t have a very extensive social life and i was single as well back then, so i could manage to keep to my regime more easily than i think it would be for me now. after about three months of strict diet and exercise, i lost about 8kg already i think, and on my 20th birthday in August 2007, i looked like this:
i was starting to be able to fit into Levis jeans (you know how some cuts only have sizes up to 29 or 30? i always felt terrible after going into Levis to look for jeans, and trying on the largest size without being able to button it up -_-)
at my skinniest (or so i think la) after my huge weight loss scheme, i was probably weighing 53kg, but considering i exercised 5 days a week, most of the weight was probably muscle! (unlike now, i’m the same weight but flabbier….)
and feeling SO good about myself. finally, i could actually go shopping, and find clothes that fit.
co-incidentally, August 2007 was also when i got together with YZ. LOL. i always tell him that he damn lucky, “kio dio” me before a long line of suitors started forming up. HAHAHA. just kidding la. but it’s true, if you’re a fat girl, people usually start stereotyping and associating you with negative behavior. like, oh, she’s so fat, she’s ugly. and she’s so fat, she must be lazy and unkempt. thus, male attention will be far and few in between.
CNY 2008, the first CNY i actually found the confidence to dress up.
fast forward and it’s been about 4 years since my weight loss, and i’m still struggling with weight issues and how i look, cos honestly, i loooove to eat!!! my appetite is humongous, and i’m not the sort who can eat without putting on weight, i put on weight really easily, and take ages to lose weight, sigh. i’m less stringent with my diet now, but i’m always attempting to shed off a few kg cos i’ve never actually hit my targeted 50kg, but even with the braces on, it’s not really stopping me from eating at all, lol. i am still doing Pilates regularly (twice a week if possible) and try not to snack too much, but it’s really hard.
other than feeling good about yourself and looking good, shedding the extra weight is definitely beneficial to your health, being overweight/obese can led to health issues such as diabetes, hypertension, ischemic heart diseases, orthopaedic problems at a relatively younger age than the average people. you feel tired more easily, and run out of breath faster. you won’t be able to enjoy the same quality of life as if you were thinner, healthier and fitter.
diet and exercise is still the best way to lose weight successfully and healthily, and i feel that shortcuts usually don’t work, or they will result in you losing weight for a short period, and then bouncing back to your previous weight, or worse, cause you to put on even more weight! 🙁 i heard that some people who took weight loss pills such as Reductil (which is apparently now banned for sale in Singapore cos i’s not safe for consumption) ended up ballooning back to their original weight. and of course, there are even more serious cases, like the case of Slim10 and kidney failure. it’s no laughing matter.
here’s my tips for healthy weight loss!
1. stay away from deep fried food, pastries, cakes, and all things unhealthy. no KFC, no Macdonalds, or any other kinds of fast food. any food with high fat content is generally not good.
2. try to drink only plain H20, and lots of it! or maybe Oolong Tea (zero calories!) if plain water is not available. do not take in any empty calories (drinks that are heavily laden with calories but don’t actually make you feel full) like Starbucks (uh huh. that toffee nut latte is really very sinful…), bubble milk tea or alcohol that are very calorie dense.
3. exercise! get moving with some simple exercising, like jogging or brisk walking, or join a pilates class or something! i hate exercise, especially jogging, but i can’t deny that it really feels great after a jog, the adrenaline rush and post exercise euphoria is really shiok!
4. avoid eating late, or having heavy dinner/suppers.
5. cut down on carbs. try to eat less rice/noodles/white bread cos carbs may be satisfying, but having too much will make you feel lethargic and sleepy, and also, try to keep your carb meals to either breakfast or lunch, cos they’ll digest better!
6. find a weight loss partner, so you have someone to motivate you and exercise/diet together! keep tabs on each other, and provide mental and emotional support! don’t be like me and YZ, i think we can’t control each other and we only end up eating more together. hahaha.
7. increase your fruits and veggie intake! more fibre is always good. other than that, eat more healthy protein such as fish (not deep fried please!) and lean meats, like chicken breast.
8. avoid overeating, stop when you’re feeling 50-70% full. it can be difficult, especially when you’re out eating with friends! try to get your friends to help you by planning non-food activities, or to dine at places where there are healthier food choices available.
9. reward yourself! set weekly or monthly weight loss targets that are realistic and achievable, and when you’ve managed to successfully reach your target, treat yourself to a new dress, or a pair of shoes, or anything that makes you feel good!
10. allow yourself ONE small food indulgence per month, or every two weeks, it could be a cup of Koi, or a small pack of chips, just be sure to make sure you know when to stop, and not to allow yourself this treat too often.
i feel like a hypocrite right now sharing all these tips for weight loss, cos i’m feeling really flabby and chubby right now! 🙁 gosh.. can’t seem to stop myself from reaching out for food. been overeating like crazy! could be the PMS, but in any case, my diet is going really badly at the moment, and i’m hoping to motivate myself as well by sharing this entry with you all! wondering if i should set myself a weight loss target of 50kg. which i haven’t actually seen that number on the scale since i was maybe 10 years old -_-
some readers may comment that i look fine the way i am, and don’t need to lose any weight, but you don’t see what i see in the mirror everyday: VERY flabby arms and thighs, a jiggly tummy and i think even my face is looking chubbier D: i don’t feel comfortable wearing tight fitting clothing, or clothes that expose my flabby arms and thighs. i really don’t want to go back to the fat me from 4 years ago, so i need to do something about it!
if you have any tips and suggestions, or your own stories to share and motivate me, do leave a comment and share! desperately in need of diet motivation! ): even if you don’t have anything to share, i definitely wouldn’t mind the extra encouragement. LOL 😀
putting a nice picture to motivate myself 😀 jia you!