my audition sucked ballz.
very disappointed and sad with myself,
because i feel like i just can't get over this barrier! whyyyyy.
not that i'm boasting or trying to sound like i'm some freakass good singer, but whenever i get on stage it's like i can't focus as per usual, get really nervous and basically just screw myself up inside out. but i really have to thank the four sweet girls, trish, wenya, kristine and angie who came down to watch the auditions and show their support, as well as all the well wishes from twitter, fb, bbm, smses and all!
wanted to post up the audition video actually but i think it really sucks so am not disgracing myself by putting it up :( haiii.
even if i make it through to the next round i still feel very sucky. why can't i for once perform up to my own standards? am not asking for much.. maybe just let me be my normal non-anxious self i dont have to sound amazingly fantastic and sing you to tears. i just want to sing through something without my voice quivering like jelly and all out of control, like i'm actually enjoying my moment in the limelight. and the ironic part is, i really love the limelight so why is it that when i get what i want i always sabotage myself? dont understand the human pysche sometimes. why?! best part is everyone thinks i'm some uber zai uber confident person who'll be amazing on stage and i just let myself down all the time.
sucks seriously ):
regardless the results wont be out til next monday lah. even if i get into round 2 which is (3 impromptu songs including 1 duet) i also wont feel proud of passing because i know very well myself how crap i sang. in any case it's over and however much i ruminate over it am not going to magically eliminate my stage nerves problem so whatever.
emo-ness and bad singing aside, i still had a fantastic time, also ran into some acquaintances at AQH, it's always nice to run into friends :) and of course the four lovely babes who came specially for me and made my night, can't thank you all enough :) really! thank you thank you thank you thank you!
huge turnout for the 30 over auditionees, most of them were pretty good.
trish and i. poor girl kena chopped by expensive limo cab on the way home wtf the starting fare is $5! kns
kristine and angie! two lovely and sweet babes :)
wenya, who was pretty much more excited over my audition than i was. hahaha
yaaar i look all constipated while singing and all i know shaaarduppp.
did i mention that another girl sang the same song as i did, and she sounded pretty awesome? like damn sad please. it's bad enough to do badly but having someone else singing the same song sucks ballz too. and now my throat feels pretty horrid and i have ulcers in my mouth and my nose is half blocked and running wtf. granted my friend/one of the judges gave me this thumbs up BUT he's like Mr Nice Guy who gives thumbs up to everyooooooone. and the judges are all toooo nice please. even when the singing is.. mediocre (at best) they still look at the singer ever so attentively, nodding along to the music. if i didnt have ears i would have believed the singing was actually pleasant. professionalism at it's best.
and i think i am fated to only sing in a ktv room. who wants to go for ktv?
chiffon pleated mini,
+ corset belt & nude heels.
crochet dress in black + nude heels
PWP lace printed tank + shorts
OKAY. i havent been up at 8 for the longest time but i'm heading over to resort world at Sentosa later today! yay to VS!
off to shower and dress up now!
thank you, readers, for sticking around. me appreciates it muchly. *emo mood*